Thursday, May 31, 2012

5/27/12 - Emotional Sunday

Today is Sunday and we went to church.  I've been feeling pretty good and haven't been too sad BUT something weird/embarrassing happened in Relief Society (last class of the day). 

The teacher talked A LOT about motherhood and raising children.  I teared up a little a few times, but wasn't too emotional UNTIL the teacher went into a little shpeal about women wanting to be mothers and struggles with infertility.  Wow.  I lost it. 

I was LUCKILY sitting in the back corner next to a friend.  I turned my head to the corner and tried to block my ugly crying face with my long hair.  I was very careful to be SILENT, so I don't think too many people could tell I was crying - except for the presidency which was facing the group.  I was bawling.  My whole body was trembling and my face was dripping... eyes and nose.  Thank goodness my friend had a tissue.  She just put her arm around me as I tried to breathe slowly and get myself under control.  What a weirdo.  I couldn't control it.

After the lesson the bishop's wife came back to me and she was crying too.  She said "I came back here to cry with you and share this message".  She handed me her phone which had a paragraph from a talk that focused on infertility.  It was sweet of her to share that with me.

I apologized to her and my friend and I explained that it was just a bad time for me to hear that message because our 1st IVF and FET cycle just failed and we're in the middle of the 2nd.  They understood... but it was still embarrassing.  I walked out to the truck and just laid back in the seat and cried all the way home. 

I think it was just one of those weird emotional days.  I'm fine.  I had a great afternoon with Corey and I went to a beatiful wedding that night with my brother.


  1. Hi Kim, I'm LDS and going to start In Vitro in July or August, looking for someone to talk to. I found your blog on google, I need to know what to expect. I'm kind of scared. I'd love to get your advice. Angel Brockbank.

  2. Oh I'm so glad you found my blog! I'll email you!